The end of an era

When I decided to move to Germany for two years, I decided that I would try to take advantage of the opportunities the country would present me. I'm working towards learning more of the language, saving up money to see more of the country than just Kiel and Berlin, and learning the more minute details of German culture. I've had to learn not to cross when the Ampelmann is red (even though "rote Gänger leben länger"), I stay on the right side of escalators when I don't care to walk up them, and I've gained an appreciation for Rote Grütze. The last one is delicious, and it's only 40 cents at Aldi. What a horrible combination health-wise! But I digress.

The one thing that's the most difficult about this decision is the food. Obviously, Germany is a country full of different types of meat dishes, and as a vegetarian this poses some health problems. Right now, the vegetarian life is pretty easy: Berlin has enough dirty hipsters in it (yes, dirty) to have a wide selection of vegetarian food. But in a few weeks, I may not have such a luxury. As a precautionary measure (and also because I think it's adventurous and am trying to do something new) (and also because there is an Oktoberfest party coming up next week in Wolfsburg and I want to be prepared) I have decided to become a non-vegetarian. Wait, no, an omnivore. After not needing to use that word for 6 years, it's not exactly on the tip of my tongue.

I've said this before, but it was always more of a stunt than anything: a bit of chicken here, a nibble of bacon a year later, etc. etc. The "literature" on quitting vegetarianism usually recommends having a small pieces of meat incorporated in food, but I always thought it didn't help. I tried to forget that there was meat, only heightening the psychological hurdle. This time around, I decided to do the exact opposite. We went to a street food festival, walked up to stall that was literally carving pieces out of a (obviously dead and cooked) pig, and ordered a plate of Backschwein. When you eat Backschwein, there is no kidding yourself. You must acknowledge that this food came from a living animal. Do a google image search if you don't believe me.

Photo by Christoph. He was pretty proud.

Anyway, I bucked up and tried it. It was delicious. Salty, tender, just yum. And with the acidity of the sauerkraut and the spiciness of the mustard...and there was this new taste! Umami! Vegetarian food only rarely has umami! I think I equated that taste with saltiness, but no, it's so much different. So much better.

You know how you have muscle memory? I'm now convinced that there's such thing as sensory memory too. Even after 6 years, that first taste of pork felt very...familiar. As if my mouth was being revisited by a friend from old Christmases and Thanksgivings. I didn't end up eating all of it (newsflash: protein is really filling!), but that's ok. The 6-year reign of vegetarianism is over. I even ate a burget on Saturday...in 2 1/2 minutes. I regretted that choice, but only the latter one. That might have been too quick. But it was super juicy and I hate soggy bread. What a first-world problem.

I am planning on taking this transition slowly- I'm not yet ready for deutsche Würste, and I think I'll never be ready for the Golden Arches or non-vegetarian airplane meals, but I'm happy to know that I can go to any city and eat without a care...as long as they're up-to-date, health-code wise, that is :). I may be trying new things, but I'm not ready to be stupid about it just yet!

No longer a tourist

Berlin is mostly the same as it was last year. The construction on my running route is still underway, the grocery stores are still packed from 10 am to 10 pm, and the public transportation still makes me queasy. The major difference is that the weather is in the 60s instead of the 80s, which makes the no-AC city much more bearable.

I am having some struggles with things that weren't so difficult before. Case in point: coins. Apparently, the Eurozone decided to create as many coins as possible when creating their money. There are 8 coins in total, and they look so similar, especially the 1 cent/2 cent and 10 cent/20 cent coins. After leaving Australia, I had a year's worth of coin-counting under my belt, but after my last year in the USA I automatically reach for plastic. I guess it's just another subtlety of culture or whatever.

But anyway, Germans are known to be ruthless (read: rude) while waiting in line to pay for their things. You are expected to bag your own groceries and provide exact change for the purchase in, oh, about 10 seconds. They will roll their eyes and sigh exasperated sighs if you decide to pay by debit card because it takes too long. I'm not really in the mood to tick off any natives just yet, so in my attempt to avoid getting chewed out by some angry Deutscher, I just hand the cashier the biggest bill I have on hand and then fumble with the change. The pennies are piling up in the inadequately small coin pocket of my wallet.

Also, last year my German was at the point where I would ask a question in German and get an answer in English. Now, apparently, the Germans have decided that I am fluent enough to get rapid-fire responses and follow-up questions. This is not the case. I work really, really hard at constructing my questions or statements before going up to someone. I make sure I know all the right words, figure out some circumlocution if I don't, fit it all in a nice grammatically correct package, and then go for it. It usually takes 5 seconds of thinking, but then my brain freezes once I hear German back. I forget the entire language, my eyes get wide, and I freeze. I'm a deer in linguistic headlights.

The biggest difference, though, is that I am no longer on vacation. I'm not here to "take a break" from American life. I feel very unprepared to start things here. In three weeks, I will be on my own in some little town up north, starting classes in an area in which I barely have any experience. I keep on having to remind myself that this is not Australia. I don't have the Study Abroad offices of two universities making sure my visa, paperwork, and classes are in order. I don't have a scholarship; I will need to find a way to live on a tight budget while still having some semblance of a life. And everything that was a bit frustrating in Australia -- finding a gym, figuring out which foods are carried at the grocery stores, buying bikes off Craigslist, scheduling doctors' appointments -- might become much bigger ordeals. There hasn't been a culture shock for me yet in this little honeymoon phase in Berlin, but I know. It will come.

But I've gone through it once, and I can go through it again. My memory is not good enough to know if this whole feeling of unpreparedness is customary or if I've just forgotten something really important.